senusenu: (me - turquoise)
Do I really need a friends only banner to get the point across?
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Ummmm. I don't know what to write here. I'm tired. x_x
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RAWR I CAN'T WATCH THE CURRENT SEASON OF DOCTOR WHO OMG *dead*
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I am going to make this abundantly clear.

The primary moving force in my life is the respect for bodily integrity and bodily autonomy of EVERYONE. Not just me, but EVERYONE. It is the one thing that has NEVER changed, not once, in my entire life. That driving force, passion, that INTENSE, impossible to ignore feeling of basic equality for all people. It is still as strong right now, when I am 30, as it was when I was 10 years old and barely even KNEW those words, let alone the ultimate ramifications.

When I was a child, I didn't know any queer people, I didn't know that I was queer, but I knew full fucking well they deserved the same rights as everyone. HIV and AIDS were not "gay diseases" and yes, I snapped at anyone who said otherwise. I was fucking TEN YEARS OLD and I knew this. What the fuck was wrong with everyone ELSE???

From that, my beliefs only grew. You do not hit other people (don't even argue bullshit with me "har har what about self-defense you said don't hit people!" don't be an ignorant motherfucker, you know damn well what I mean). I have never hit anyone, human or non-human, and the day I do is the day I go see a counselor. I do not believe in violence against anyone, and I will not hit my SO, my child, or my pets, or anyone else barring extraordinary circumstances, such as self-defense (and yes I believe that in self-defense, no holds are barred, you do what the hell you need to do to protect yourself or your loved ones). No, I will never, not ever, spank my child.

I do not believe in manipulating people for sex or intimacy, and I'd like to see rapists rot in jail for the rest of their lives with the murderers. Same for pedophiles, or any other predator.

I do believe that non-therapeutic surgery for animals should be illegal- declawing of cats, debarking, ear cropping, and tail docking of dogs, beak splitting of parrots (or any birds), horse tail docking- the list could go on, but you get the point. Most of the world considers these things animal abuse and they are illegal. Imagine that!

I also believe that ear piercing of children below a certain age should be illegal. No one has the right to force a cosmetic modification of the body on someone unable to give consent.

Yes, that includes circumcision. I don't give a flying fuck why anyone thinks they have a right to do that to another person. You DO know that over 75% of the world is intact- it's only in America that foreskin is "dirty" and gross? And there is not some raging epidemic of penile cancer ravaging the lands of Europe because of it? It's child abuse, and amounts to torture (will YOU consent to unanesthetized surgery on YOUR body? So why the fuck would you do it to someone else? The human body is not filthy!) Yes, it should be fucking illegal. I don't care one goddamn what reason someone wants to make up to justify it. It is not your fucking body!

Abortion? A woman's right, to control her own body. She comes first, always.

Medical care? If you want to die a slow horrible death because of whatever belief you have says you have to, then have at it. Inflicting that belief on someone else? No, never, not ever.

The point? Respect for other people, their rights to their own bodies, their bodily integrity, and autonomy are the breaking points for me. If you can't respect those things, then I honestly want to distance myself rather than continually be subjected to what I consider to be incredibly offensive and wrong.

If you can't show the same respect for other people's right, then I'd rather not have to wade through the things I find offensive.

Anti-gay?
Anti-abortion?
Pro-circumcision?
Pro-piercing of small children?
Pro-cosmetic surgery on animals?

Just generally don't have a strong sense of equality and integrity for other people and their own self-determination? Not interested.
senusenu: (Insomnia)
Cannot fucking SLEEP!!!
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Well, I made the decision to upgrade my ears, and I am extremely happy that I did so. I feel that this size looks much better compared to my face, and with the size of my seconds, than 7/16" did. No need for a taper or tape, they self-stretched happily enough, and I've been wearing a 1/2" Kaos earskin off and on for the last few weeks. I got my plugs from Bill Thursday, 1/2" SF oil sheen dichro, and I LOVE them. I already had 2g, and I had him make me a matching 4g conch plug- so for once in my life, I match! I like mixing things up, but I loved this dichro so much I wanted matches for them.

I pretty much dead stretched the last of the way there. Some biol-oil, and I slipped them in. I've been keeping them oiled, as there was a slight pinch; the oil prevented my skin from sticking to the glass, which helped my ears to settle down and the skin shift to remove that pinch sensation. I get the same thing when I put in my 2g when my ears are dry, and oil always relieves any discomfort with them, too. I slept with the plugs in, as I want to make sure they settle at this size and relax enough to wear DF. At this point, the minor shrinking that would occur overnight wouldn't be worth the discomfort of putting them back in. In a couple of weeks, I think I'll be ready to sleep naked again.

Without further ado!

I am in love with my own ears :D )
senusenu: (DA:O - Alistair - ಠ_ಠ)
You know, I'm not sure I really care any longer to try explaining issues that are important to me to other people.

I'm tired of explaining, of justifying, of apologizing, who and what I am, how I feel, how I think. Some of these issues are my identity (does anyone expect a straight, cis-sexual individual to explain that they just KNEW from a young age that they were straight and that they internally identified with the gender presentation of their physical body? No? Why the fuck then do I need to explain that I just KNEW I was queer, and that my body felt WRONG before I had even heard of the existence of homosexuality or (ten years later) transgenderism?).

I just fucking knew, just like you fucking knew your own identity and alignment. Why are queer and trans and other "different" people required to fucking explain, and write essays, and prove, and provide the fucking WEALTH of information that is available if you just fucking LOOK to all the straight/het/cis-sexual/cis-gendered people in the world?

There are essays and research papers done by scientists and psychologists and gender therapists- go fucking LOOK FOR THEM YOURSELF if you want to know.

I'm done explaining it. I'm done justifying my own identity. I'm done holding hands. There is a goddamn wealth of information and research- anyone that is actually open to understanding, I mean REALLY UNDERSTANDING, how dysphoria works, how gender can be maleable, how brain chemistry is not the same for everyone single fucking person, how genetic anomalies can produce people that don't conform to the "standard" XY (XXY, YY, XYY, and so on)- anyone that REALLY wants to know and understand can take some fucking initiative and go find out all on their lonesome, instead of expecting the fucking minority within a minority to explain it all for them.

JFC. I am done with this. If my existence as queer female-to-male identified non-op/non-hrt gender- and body-dysphoric individual just befuddles your senses and you can't understand why WE WANT THE SAME FUCKING CONSIDERATIONS as the cis-privileged people on the fucking planet, then GTFO.
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March 8, I tapered my septum to 4g. It was an easy, gentle stretch, the jewelry was already getting loose, and the taper had very little resistance. No pain, no ache, no pinch, just some very minor tightness. Within a few hours, it was feeling great. It hasn't finished relaxing completely yet, I expect another week for that, but it is absolutely comfortable.

I put the mate of my 4g FF lemon-lime dichro on cobalt that is in my conch into my septum hole, and it feels great. The wearable is shorter than the plugs I've been wearing that I got from BAF, so it sits so much better without so much extra length on the other side.

LOOK UP MY NOSE, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO! )
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Stretched my septum to 4g Tuesday night.

That is all.
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Also- I redecorated my bedroom and "finished" the bathroom.
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I haven't made an entry about being trans in quite some time. I've found it better-much better- for my own mental well-being to avoid that topic as much as possible- I ran across something today tho that was kind of frustrating. Meh. I am at a precarious balance between my internal self and my external, and I don't like accidentally tipping myself over. I don't experience dysphoria nearly as often now. Instead, I experience dissociation way more than I used to. Several times a week, normally.

The dissociation seems to be more about my surroundings being unreal more often than my own self, though both happen regularly and happen at the same time on a pretty regular basis.

I haven't talked much about my depression either. I just don't want to, most times.

I should take photos of my new jewelry. I'm lazy, however, so I don't know when this will be done.

I am still also thinking about family things, and my lack of it, and all the difficulties that come with that.

All way too much to type on my phone, though.
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...I have really been neglecting this thing, haven't I?

I just haven't felt like sharing. I usually rant like crazy in here, but I just don't feel like it. Bah.
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I am admittedly quite bored with online communities right now, particularly livejournal. I feel like I am not "getting" much from it at the moment, and have also felt like I've not had much worth sharing.

It's not that there's not things I could talk about, I just don't want to. I feel content enough retreating to my own little world right now. Hopefully that will change and I'll be back to more normal talking-about-nothing self.

Just stopping by to say I'm still alive, mostly.
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[profile] xsourkittenx I got my plugs yesterday! I will be making a post on [community profile] stretched as soon as I can.
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I stretched my septum tonight. 10g to 8g with no resistance.

In addition to that, my bottom lobes are 7/16 and my seconds are 2g. I definitely want a 2g conch punch on my right to "balance" with my industrial on my left. And at 2g, I can reuse jewelry between the conch and my seconds.

Now to find time for it.
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I just told this guy "You know what? You have awesome hair" O_o fuck he was cute too

Frozenfire

Dec. 13th, 2010 04:27 am
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I sent in a request for Bill at Frozenfire. Two 11mm honeycombs, one 6mm honeycomb, one 6mm corkscrew, and one 6mm pinwheel.

I'm waiting for his reply, and hopefully the sizes and color combinations are viable.

...I really want a big drink of icy water. I gave into my craving for soda the last couple of days, so I really need to get back on the water to suppress the cravings again.
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