![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sent this to my mom
Sep. 21st, 2010 01:51 pm(She was talking about having to taking medication for pain and not liking that it's her only option
)
I know what you mean. I've had this anxiety and depression since my mid teens at the least, and for a really long time I didn't try to get help. I always thought that medication would give me "fake happiness" and that that was a bad thing. Plus the HUGE stigma against mental illness, the belief that being mentally ill was a weakness, and the perception that mentally ill people just didn't want to be happy or they're just whiny or doing it for attention, and so on. All of that made me afraid to really try to get this taken care of. I didn't want to be on medication for the rest of my life, and I hated the feeling that I was broken or crazy.
If I had had doctors that had taken me seriously, and if I had gotten past that fear of stigma, my life would have been so much better. Amazingly better. But instead I'm starting late, and that's frustrating.
But now I've come to terms with myself. I've finally learned that being mentally ill doesn't make me less valuable than anyone else. And I'm learning to not just like myself, but to love myself. My body modification is admittedly a big part of that self-acceptance. I like my appearance now, when I never had before. ESPECIALLY when Huw kept pressuring me and whining when I changed my appearance in a way he didn't like.
So I guess what I'm getting at is that it's okay to need medication, especially if it improves your quality of life.
)
I know what you mean. I've had this anxiety and depression since my mid teens at the least, and for a really long time I didn't try to get help. I always thought that medication would give me "fake happiness" and that that was a bad thing. Plus the HUGE stigma against mental illness, the belief that being mentally ill was a weakness, and the perception that mentally ill people just didn't want to be happy or they're just whiny or doing it for attention, and so on. All of that made me afraid to really try to get this taken care of. I didn't want to be on medication for the rest of my life, and I hated the feeling that I was broken or crazy.
If I had had doctors that had taken me seriously, and if I had gotten past that fear of stigma, my life would have been so much better. Amazingly better. But instead I'm starting late, and that's frustrating.
But now I've come to terms with myself. I've finally learned that being mentally ill doesn't make me less valuable than anyone else. And I'm learning to not just like myself, but to love myself. My body modification is admittedly a big part of that self-acceptance. I like my appearance now, when I never had before. ESPECIALLY when Huw kept pressuring me and whining when I changed my appearance in a way he didn't like.
So I guess what I'm getting at is that it's okay to need medication, especially if it improves your quality of life.
